Broke down again today

Wow, what a day! Told everyone whom I must have got worried of late that I woke up happy and felt good, which I did. Then the feelings turned into a bit of hyperactivity. I still felt a bit sleepy but managed to have conversations and work somewhat. 

I felt so good that I forgot I'm on medication that keeps me feeling good. And that was that. Restlessness, edginess, palpitations, and the feeling of being overwhelmed creeped in. Felt a bit settled down after taking meds. 

Then I wanted to get a shut-eye because these feelings exhaust you. Didn't sleep. The Appreciation Circle started. And it's always that one unwanted thought that leads to more such thoughts. At times, imagined scenarios that won't even happen. Even before I could control them or thought of distracting myself, they had built up. 

Guilt. Shame. Self-blame. Feeling useless. One thing after the other and all together. It's like a prick of rusty, dusty nail that can cause sepsis. I had another breakdown. 

Yoga helped, thankfully. I still have some thoughts and negative feelings lingering over. But at least I will be able to work. 

What has happened so suddenly? I was doing well until last week!