Everyone who has anything nice to say about me says how kind, generous and talented I am. How does that help or matter if I'm absolutely shyte at my job? People have only kept me because I'm affable and I give no trouble.
I haven't completed tasks in the last one year. Everyone's doing well with the processes and organisational things but me. What purpose is my niceness going to serve? It's the most unproductive crap. I can only bring relief to people so that they do well in their careers. I will still lag behind and keep anyone I co-work with behind with me. How long can they drag my weight? C is already struggling with their own issues and I am just being a burden. They end up doing all my tasks, while I sit there useless, with no purpose at all.
I don't want colleagues to call me kind or sweet or funny. I hope some day they will say I am so efficient and good at my work. But I don't think they ever will have this opportunity. How can I be so dense? How can I not break these things down?
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